Counseling while grieving

Counseling while grieving

I have been wanting to write a post for some time regarding imposter syndrome, but my follow through on actually writing posts has been less than bueno. But personal win for me here in actually getting this written!

IMPOSTER SYNDROME

How many of y’all have dealt with this/ are dealing with this?

First: What is imposter syndrome?

“Imposter syndrome is a psychological term referring to a pattern of behavior where people doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, often internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud” (APA, 2018)

I have been feeling it like crazyyyyy these past few months, thinking how is it that I am supposed to help people and guide people into their healing when I myself am driving the struggle bus? It feels like I am kinda like a fake at times and its something I sometimes struggle with doing the work I do. As a resident in counseling and a case manager I spend 8-10 hours of my day helping other people. It has definitely been tough for sure to shake these feelings when i’m dealing with so many of my own mental health struggles of grief and loss, not to mention all the anxiety surrounding the pandemic.

How do we Deal with it:

REMEMBER:

Heres the thing: You don’t have to just be one thing….

You can have both joy and sadness in your body/ they can exist simultaneously

You can be both confident and have insecurities: It’s not one or the other.

There are both strength and weaknesses inside of us: Its normal!

You can help others while dealing with your own battles:

You do not have to be an expert and you sure as hell don’t have to be perfect or have your shit together to be a support for others.

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

What is important though is making sure you have a balance of not only helping others but taking care of yourself. “You can’t pour from an empty glass.” That is why self care and boundaries are important tools in making sure we are taking care of ourselves as (helpers) as much as we can.

Imposter syndrome is not specific to the counseling or helping professions and can show up in lots of areas of our lives.

It is important to look at and acknowledge these feeling when they come up?

Its important to recognize your expertise and know what you have to offer has worth!

National Suicide Prevention Week

Did you know that September is national Suicide Prevention Month. During September, the week of September 6th-11th is National Suicide Prevention Week.

Why it is important?

Suicide Prevention week and month is a nationwide initiative to shine a light on the importance of suicide prevention and awareness. During this month lots of organizations use this as a time to raise awareness and get people in need connected to services to assist if they are in need of treatment of the i as well as provide tools and resources to those affected by suicide.

Did you know that suicide is 2nd leading cause of death for ages 10-34 and 4th leading cause of death for people ages 35-54 (Nami.org)

10 percent of young adults say they experiences suicidal thoughts in the past year. ( Nami.org, form the CDC National Center for injury Prevention and control.

What can you do to help?

• Have conversations about mental health. Help to reduce the stigma by having the conversation with friends and family. Let them know that they have a space to discuss issues and concerns they are having and provide a space for those potentially in need.

• Become knowledgeable on the signs and inform yourself on ways that you can support people dealing with suicidal thoughts and self harm behaviors.

  -Nami ( National Alliance on Mental health) is a great resource for becoming more knowledgable about this topic as well as other mental health issues or concerns.

• Support an organization that does work for suicide prevention and awareness. There are tons of organizations doing great things. This month I am donating to Jason’s foundation which I have linked here. I’ve linked some resources below, check them out to learn more and see how you can help!

  -Donating money is not the only way to help there are tons of other ways to get involved!

Extra resources:

Suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Nami.org

Jasonfoundation.com

Crisis Textline Text Jason 741741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor

www.crisistextline.com

#betheonetoask Hashtag on Instagram

A kind word and listening ear can be the difference, be the difference, be the one to ask.

Self Care Series: Self Care at home

Taking care of yourself is extremely important especially right now. Stressful situations are around us and its easy to become engulfed in the panic and not take care of ourselves properly. Im not always amazing at it, but i’m hoping to take this opportunity and extra time that I have to be aware and intentional about self care. Here are ways that I will be engaging in self care and mental wellness hopefully it helps someone else too :)

Reading:

Reading is a perfect way to focus the mind escape some of our racing thoughts. I’m still soooo terrible at reading but ill have the time and I have no excuse so I’m hoping to check off a few books off my reading list I like reading a bunch of different types books at the same time for example: a self hep book, right now its “ you are a badass”, a professional development book, “The making of a therapist” and a book for leisure “ Is there still Sex in the City”

Currently on my to read/ reread list:

A simplified life by Emily Ley

The making of a therapist by Luis Cozolino

Is there still Sex in the City by Candace Bushnell

Code name Verity by Elizabeth Wein

You are a badass by Jen Sincero

Tequila Mockingbird by Tim Federle

Moving your body:

Moving our bodies and staying active has scientific evidence to improve out mood. Working out produces the feel good chemical in bodies and is beneficial not only for our physical health but also out mental health and well being. Being someone who is not super pumped about being going to the gym regularly anyway I have been wanting to get more into home workouts. There are beyond tons of talented fitness resources, trainers, bloggers, etc who have great resources to get you grooving and moving. Pinterest is also a good place to find free workouts that you can tailor to whatever you want to work on.

A few of my favorites are

5 minute morning yoga

One song workouts

10 minute workout abs

300 (like the movie) abs

Telehealth with a therapist:

Continue taking care of your mental health, whether that means continuing to take medications ( see if you can have medications delivered), practicing self care and ways to reduce stress and anxiety ie. self care techniques and coping skills. Reach out to your current therapist and see if that is an option for you to meet with them via Telehealth, FaceTime, phone call. Most practices have a system where it is secure and compliant with Hippaa privacy standards for you to be able to talk with your therapist from your home.

Please take care of your self during this time. It is important for everyone to take care of themselves physically but also mentally. It is important to recharge, because we can’t fill from an empty glass. Those in any helping positions, first responders, emergency personnel, in the medical field, working in nursing homes and shelters and anyone who has to be out in the community working are under added stress and pressures. Thank you for your service and selflessness during these times!

Why I am Setting New Years Resolutions

Before the New Year I saw a meme going around and some other posts saying phrases like “don’t wait until the New Year or a specific date or day to start your goals and to go ahead and do it now” While I do agree with that go get em attitude. I also kind of disagreed with it.

“Dont let others make you feel like your approach is wrong just because its not their approach”

Why does society try to fit people into a category. Life is definitely not black and white. Its great if you can get started right away and I commend people who can decide on a goal and just go and get started. On the other hand. some people need that concrete date or start to get motivated and get going. I am people.. people is me. I need first and foremost my planner, I need to set a start date to begin and I start planning out my course of action. I use the start of a new month, a new week and the First of the year as that starting date for setting some of those goals. Call it cliche but I’m a New Years resolution setter. And I am here to tell you don't let others stop you from setting your New Years resolutions! But also don’t let people tell you, you need to set New year’s Resolutions! Do you all 2020! If you wanna go after something, kick it in the butt, if you don’t want to set any resolutions this year then don’t! I’m also here to give you some tips to check off those resolutions and achieve them this year!

Tips for Success:

Write them down:

Put your goals into writing. Post them in a place you’ll see them daily, it could be in a planner, in a journal, a post it note on your laptop or at your desk at work or school. This can act as a daily reminder of your goals. Seeing your goals written down can act as a powerful visual tool to use to motivate you!

Track them and chart them

Figure out a schedule to check in with your self on your goals. Whether is once a week, once a month or once a season check in on how you're doing with your goals. This is a good time to see if you need to tweak your goals or add to them!Make benchmarks and set dates to when you want to achieve your goals.

Tell others:

Telling others helps hold you accountable for your goals. For no spend November I told my coworker I was working on not spending money on food. Every time I wanted to get a coffee or eat out for lunch my coworker would say nope, your not spending money this month and helped keep me accountable for this goal I set.

Create more/ add to them:

Tweak goals, add to them, or create new ones as needed. Just because you set a goal in the beginning of January does not mean that will be the same exact goal in December. If your Goal was to work out 5 days a week but in February you find it to be unrealistic, tweak your goals to reflect your schedule and what you can realistically commit to.

I am still figuring out some of the resolutions I want to hit this year, but i am claiming them all for myself and for you as well! My wish is that your worst day of 2020 be better than your best day of 2019! Happy 2020!

“My wish is that your worst day of 2020 be better than your best day of 2019! ”

Self Care Series: Happy Planning :)

Self care is a term that is used so frequently right now especially in the mental health field and for good reason. Self care is so extremely extremely important, to those in the helping profession as well as basically anybody who wants to live a healthy lifestyle. You can’t pour from an empty glass right? You have to recharge those batteries and you have to refill that glass. This Self Care series will outline some of the ways I engage in Self care, describing my favorites and exploring new self care routines as well.

Lets be honest we ( I know I) don’t always take as good of care as we want or plan whether it’s our diet, sleeping schedule or even sometimes our relationships. With everything I have going on I try to make time for some self care at least once a day, yes once a day! There are 24 hours in a day, I’m thinking one hour a day to focus on yourself isn’t asking for too much. Whether its taking a long bath or shower or watching an hour of Supernatural, Self care is exactly what it says taking time to care for yourself. This week I wanted to focus on one of my favorite things to do that I didn’t even realize was self care for me.

So I am a planner, in life and on paper.! I like things to be planned out and my days to be organized, down to the hour if possible. I am working on being less rigid but its a work in progress what can I say. For some people being on a time table stresses them out but for me i have found that it relaxes me.

Writing things down on paper not only helps me to organize my day and thoughts it also calms me down and allows me not to stress over things in the distant future. Writing down my goals makes them an actual thing and motivates me to actually do it! Visualization is the key to success they say!

Throughout this last year specifically, I have found that I enjoy my time to write down my schedule in my planner. Writing down important dates, possible trips and goals for myself each week or everyday is one of my favorite self care activities.

Are you a planner or more of a fly by the seat of your pants kinda guy or gal? I’d love to know what kinds of things relax and mellow you out? Let me know in the comments below!

Happy planner has been my planner of choice recently .If you don’t know about Happy planner your whole life is about to change, maybe. Its an awesome brand, visually appealing and you have a ton of flexibility with how you want to design your planner. They have so many add on stickers if your interested in things meal planning, fitness, saving money or goal planning. I got my planner from Micheal’s but i’m sure you can get it at most craft stores.. Happy planning!

***Not sponsored just love this brand!

** My prosecco recommendation this week is this Cecilia Beretta Treviso, from trader Joes. Trader Joes is another one of my go-to’s for a great cheap bottle of wine or bubbly. It was less than $10 can I get an ok ok!

I wasn’t able to link it online but you can pick up at bottle at your local trader Joes for sure. Cheers!